Four weeks ago, I had to say goodbye to my beloved cat, Cookie. Saying goodbye to a loved one, whether or human or animal, is really difficult.
For me, this was the toughest goodbye yet for all my pets. I had Cookie for sixteen years. I got her as an incredibly shy 10 year old girl. Cookie quickly became my best friend. She loved me unconditionally and cuddled me whenever I was feeling down.
The night Cookie passed away, I was sleeping on the couch in the basement (because it was so much cooler there than in my bedroom) and Cookie cuddled with me right beside my stomach. Even when I got up at 2:30am to use the bathroom, she came back and cuddled me. This wasn't anything new for Cookie. She cuddled me most night's I slept in the basement. Little did I know, this would be the last time I got to cuddle her.
People say I should take comfort in the fact that she went quickly and didn't suffer. While I do take some comfort in this, selfishly, this didn't make it any easier. While we knew Cookie wasn't in perfect health, we did not expect her to leave us this soon. She was older and thus, her health was starting to go down hill, but she seemed fine the weeks, the days, and even the night before. What I do take the most comfort in is that she was the happiest cat.
Anyone who knew Cookie knows how loud her purr was. You could hear her purring from across the room (trust me, I'm not exaggerating). Cookie loved everyone. She was the friendliest cat I have ever known. Some of the things I miss most about Cookie are:
- The way she'd hug me: If I was to hold Cookie up to my face at eye level, she would wrap her paws around me and hold on as tight as she could. She also did this whenever you would give her a treat. She would reach up and grab onto your arm.
- Her ticklish spots: Cookie had two ticklish spots. 1. Whenever you would scratch her back right above her tail, she would start to lick herself. 2. She had a spot on her neck that if you scratched it, her back leg would would start to go, just like a dog.
- Her cuddles: Cookie was the type of cat you could just pick up and cuddle whenever you felt like it! As soon as you picked her up she would start purring and just snuggle right up with you. She even tried to cuddle when you were trying to get stuff done! Cookie was never a super playful cat, but she was the best cuddler around.
- How much she loved everyone: I honestly cannot think of a person Cookie didn't love or who didn't love her. While she probably loved me more than anyone, Cookie truly wanted to snuggle up with everyone she met. Because of how friendly she was, everyone loved her, including my friends who aren't cat people.
- Her Purr: I know I already mentioned her purr, but this is something I think is worth mentioning yet again. Not only was her purr super loud, but every once in a while, she would get this high pitched squeaky noise in the midst of it all. Every time someone paid any kind of attention to her, she would purr as loudly as she could. Just ask the vet who had trouble hearing her heartbeat over it!
- Her love of boxes and bags: I know this isn't something that is unique to Cookie, but out of both the cats I've had, she loved boxes and bags the most. She always loved Christmas because it meant she got to to cuddle up in boxes and bags. When Cookie was younger, my mom had a clothing box in her bedroom that she kept for a couple of months just because Cookie loved it so much!
- How much she loved cheese: Okay, so realistically this should just say all food, because Cookie was a mooch, but from what I remember, cheese was the first food she really begged for. Sure, there were times where this was annoying, but now, I really miss it. Whenever I was using grated cheese and I dropped a piece I could always count on Cookie to clean it up for me. Really, the thing I miss most about her love of food is not seeing her at my feet, looking up at me whenever I was making my meal.
- How she greeted me at the door: You quite often see videos of dogs greeting their owners at the door as they come home on Youtube. Well, Cookie did that too (unless she was eating). Whenever I would come home she would come running to the door with her adorable little shuffle of a run. I truly miss being greeted by her when I come home from work.
There are so many more memories flooding into my head, but if I wrote them all out, you'd be reading a novel.
There are still moments every day where I think I see her out of the corner of my eye, or where I forget she's gone. These moments are getting fewer and farther between, which makes me happy and sad at the same time. I don't want to forget her, but at the same time, the less of these moments I have, the less sad I am. It's getting easier and eventually I will probably get a new cat, but no cat can ever replace Cookie. I'll just have to wait to get a new one until my heart has room for another one.